


Not a Family Man

by AnnaOnTheMoon



Series: Season One [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Jack Crusher - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 06:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12978522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaOnTheMoon/pseuds/AnnaOnTheMoon
Summary: What happens when Jean-Luc is faced with his former lover on board the Enterprise?  A lover who he ran out on...twice?  P/C. Tag for Episode 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bold dialogue at the beginning is from the script from Encounter at Farpoint. I’m using them mostly to set the mood for the story.

**PICARD: I'm not a family man, Riker, and yet, Starfleet has given me a ship with children aboard.**  
**RIKER: Yes, sir.**  
**PICARD: And I don't feel comfortable with children. But, since a captain needs an image of geniality, you're to see that's what I project.**  
**RIKER: Aye, sir.**

###

 **PICARD: Your son?**  
**CRUSHER: His name's Wesley. You last saw him years ago when -**  
**PICARD: Well, as long as he's here.**

###

 **CRUSHER: Can I help you, Captain?**  
**PICARD: I didn't want you thinking me harsh. Cold blooded.**  
**CRUSHER: Why oh why would I ever think that.**  
**PICARD: I didn't welcome you aboard personally, professionally. I made you come to me on the Bridge. I yelled at your son. Who, as you pointed out, was quite correct. He does seem to have a very good grasp of starship operations.**  
**CRUSHER: You've just won this mother's heart, Captain.**  
**PICARD: Ah, but, now, your assignment here. I would consider and approve you a transfer for you.**  
**CRUSHER: Oh. You consider me unqualified?**  
**PICARD: Hardly. Your service record shows you're just the Chief Medical Officer I want.**  
**CRUSHER: Then you must object to me personally.**  
**PICARD: I'm trying to be considerate of your feelings, Doctor.**  
**CRUSHER: If I had had any objections to serving with you, I wouldn't have requested this assignment, Captain.**    
###

Beverly watched as Jean-Luc exited her sickbay, and sat down behind her desk with a sigh.  She _wanted_ to serve on the _Enterprise_.  There was no denying that the post as Chief Medical Officer on the Federation flagship would indeed be a feather in her cap.  Other than taking up a post at Starfleet Medical, CMO of the flagship absolutely was the highest achievement any doctor in Starfleet could want to achieve.  Add to that her own achievement of earning her Commander pips, meaning she would be able to stand in as a bridge officer, and she was the ideal candidate for this position.  She could only think of one other doctor who might come close to her in terms of qualifications, and that was Doctor Kate Pulaski.  Beverly chuckled to herself. _If Jean-Luc thinks it will be hard having me around, I’d love to see him with Kate!_

But Jean-Luc was right. It was going to be difficult for her on a personal level being around Jean-Luc, but she was willing to put their past behind them for the good of her career, and for Wesley.  Wesley needed the type of guidance Jean-Luc could offer.  Wesley _needed_ a father – even if he wasn’t his biologically. 

Beverly and Jean-Luc’s relationship spanned nearly two decades and went back to the days of the _Stargazer_.  Beverly had met Jean-Luc and Jack Crusher through her commanding officer from the Academy, Walker Keel.  Walker thought Beverly would hit it off with his friends, and the four of them became the best of friends.  Beverly and Jean-Luc had had a handful of dates before he decided he didn’t want to pursue a relationship with her.  Not because he didn’t have feelings for her, if anything was indicated by his passion for her, but because he simply didn’t want to have the type of long-term relationship they were pursuing.  Beverly had agreed to remain his friend, and  she began dating Jack.  When  she discovered she had forgotten to update her birth control and was pregnant with Wesley,  Jack had married her. 

Beverly and Jack had been happy...or at least, as happy as they could be.  Wesley was the apple of Beverly’s eye and Jack liked having a son, but he was never quite the hands-on father Beverly had hoped to have for her children.  Jean-Luc adored Wesley though and would always spend time with the boy when the _Stargazer_ was docked at Starbase 32.  He had even babysat the young boy on a few occasions to allow for the parents to have a rare night out alone. 

And then, Jack Crusher died in a horrible accident, and Beverly and Wesley’s world was turned upside down. 

After the funerals were held, Jean-Luc disappeared.  Walker had been the one to console Beverly and to help Beverly pack up Jack’s personal items, all the while trying to contact Jean-Luc.  When Walker finally had contacted Jean-Luc and begged him to return to be there for Beverly and Wesley, Jean-Luc admitted to his friend that he didn’t think he could because he loved Beverly too much and didn’t want to push her into a relationship, especially when she might have been vulnerable.  But Walker insisted Jean-Luc was needed, and even played the “Wesley is asking for you” card.  Jean-Luc agreed to visit Beverly when he was next at the base...not knowing that he would be returning six months later a broken man himself. 

Beverly and Jean-Luc had fallen into bed easily.  Beverly had never stopped loving Jean-Luc, even when she had dated and married Jack, and it was obvious that Jean-Luc had felt the same.  Beverly, Jean-Luc, and Wesley had become a family.  

When Wesley was seven, he slipped up and called Jean-Luc papa...and Jean-Luc shut off his feelings and left, leaving Beverly and Wesley alone once again.   Jean-Luc had seemingly disappeared, though Beverly had heard through Walker he had taken a sabbatical and was working on obtaining his doctorate in archaeology.  Beverly and Wesley returned to Earth, where Beverly also took a sabbatical from Starfleet.  Beverly took up private practice in Kansas City.  Men had tried to date her- the elusive Dancing Doctor, but she would always refuse.  Wesley watched as his mother rejected offers to date, always concentrating on her work, her dancing, and Wesley instead. 

When Walker approached Beverly about returning to Starfleet, she agreed, and enrolled in classes to pass her Commander exam.  She still hadn’t heard from Jean-Luc at all, but when she heard he was being given the _Enterprise_ , she saw it as her opportunity for them to mend the broken fences of their relationship.  She only hoped she wasn’t too late.

###

“Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.”  The replicator whirled to life and Jean-Luc carried his cup over to his favoured chair in his living room and sank down into the soft faux leather.  Beverly Crusher (and Wesley and Jack) were laying heavy on his mind. 

 _Beverly.  The one that got away...or at least, the one I allowed to get away...twice._   He sighed.  His new counsellor, half-Betazoid Deanna Troi, had asked him about his relationship with Beverly as she had sensed strong feelings coming from the two of them, and Jean-Luc had been at a loss of what to tell his counsellor.  How do you explain two decades of friendship involving two failed relationships and the death of a spouse?  How do you explain that every time you look at Wesley, you wish he was your son and wonder what your life would have been like all those years ago if you had remained in a relationship with Beverly?

Sure, he had dated other women in the intervening years, but he had cared for none of them the way he cared for Beverly.  He didn’t count Ariel, as she had been manipulating him into thinking he had feelings for her for her own purposes.  How he longed to gather Beverly in his arms and run his fingers through her coppery hair while he kissed her.  He yearned to call Wesley son and to guide him through his application to the Academy. 

But he couldn’t do that.  He had ran away from Beverly twice and it wouldn’t be fair to her to ask her to be with him again when he just didn’t know what would happen.  He wanted to be with her -  but he was afraid to be with her.  And Wesley...Wesley had lost his father through death, and then lost the man he had started to think of as a father two years later when he left.  It wouldn’t be fair to Wesley to try to be the father he had been unable to be eight years prior.  The door chime went off, interrupting his thoughts.

“Come,”  he called out, placing his tea down on the table and rising to greet whoever was at his door. 

Beverly walked into the room, wringing her hands nervously.  “Beverly?” 

“Jean-Luc,” she breathed out and walked closer to him.  She reached out a hand towards Jean-Luc and then dropped it to her side. “Captain.”

“Doctor. Would you like to sit down?  Can I get you a drink?”  Beverly nodded and Jean-Luc headed towards the small kitchen in his quarters.  He grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses, then thought he should ask first.  “Wine?”

“Oh, yes please.” 

Jean-Luc grinned and carried the wine over to the couch.  Jean-Luc took a seat next to Beverly and poured out the wine.  Beverly took a big gulp of her wine and studied the rim.  Jean-Luc reached out and brushed her hair off her shoulder gently.  “Beverly? Is something...wrong?”

“Yes.  No.  I don’t know!”  She turned towards Jean-Luc. “Jean-Luc, I...”  Jean-Luc took her glass from her hand and placed it on the table alongside his before he reached for her hands.  He held them lightly and looked into her eyes. “No, Beverly.  Let me speak.  Please?” She nodded.  “Beverly...I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have walked out on you eight years ago.  I wasn’t fair to you, and I wasn’t fair to Wesley.  Can you forgive me?” 

“I..forgive you.  Looking back, I can see where it may have been a shock to hear Wesley call you papa...”

“It was.  But I handled it all wrong.  I ran away...and I shouldn’t have.  I should have stayed and talked to you about my fears.  I should have come back.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Oh, Beverly,”  he gave her hands a squeeze and shifted closer to her on the sofa.  “I was so afraid.  I was afraid of what it meant for Wesley to call me papa...and I was afraid because I liked hearing it...you had been married to my best friend and I couldn’t help but feel like I was betraying him by calling his son my son and being with his wife and I...didn’t handle it right.  I’m sorry.  I’m so, so, sorry.”  A tear rolled down Beverly’s cheek and Jean-Luc lifted a hand to brush it away. “Please don’t cry, my love.”

Beverly swallowed. “You haven’t called me your love in many years.  Am I?” 

“My love?  Always.  Beverly...I have never stopped loving you.   I just don’t know how to handle it.”  Beverly smiled.  “You’re not doing a  bad job right now.”  She leaned over and kissed him lightly.  “I love you too, Jean-Luc.”

Jean-Luc groaned softly as Beverly kissed him again, her hands grabbing onto his uniform.  Jean-Luc rested his hands on Beverly’s hips and tugged her into his lap, where he proceeded to kiss her senseless.  When they broke apart, they were both smiling.  Jean-Luc gazed down at Beverly.  “Now what?”  

“Well, my dear Captain...I think it’s getting late and I should return to my quarters.  I’ll, ah, see you in the morning?”  She rose off of his lap and straightened her uniform.  Jean-Luc rose and took her hand in his once again and pressed a kiss to her hand.  “Breakfast?”  Beverly nodded.

“0700? Bring Wesley.” 

“Wesley? Do you know what a teenager is like that early in the morning?”  Jean-Luc chuckled.  “I know, but I want to talk to him.  I need to apologize to him too.” 

“Wes will understand.  I’ll tell him he’s invited, though.”  Beverly gave him another gentle kiss.  “Good night Jean-Luc”

“Goodnight Beverly.” 

The door slid shut behind Beverly and she touched her lips, still tingling from Jean-Luc’s parting kiss.  “Well, that went better than I had hoped....”  Beverly tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked down the hall to her own quarters she shared with her son.  Things might not be so bad, after all.

 

 

 


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long overdue chat between Wesley and Jean-Luc

Wesley was annoyed.  When his mother came back to their quarters the night before, her hair had been dishevelled and her lips had been swollen.  Wesley knew she had gone to see the Captain.  And it was obvious something had happened between his mother and her ex.  Wesley tied his shoes and scowled.  It was 0645 in the morning, and he and his mother were expected at Captain Picard’s quarters at 0700 for breakfast.  Classes didn’t even start until 0900 and Wesley originally was planning on sleeping until at least 0800.  But last night, his plans changed.

When Beverly had breezed into their quarters she had a smile on her face.  Wesley couldn’t remember the last time he saw her smile that way, but he knew it had been because she had been with Captain Picard, and that did not make him happy.  He had glared at his mother as he spat out “You obviously had a nice evening.”  Beverly had blushed before coming to her senses and admonishing him for his attitude, but he had continued. “You were with Captain Picard, weren’t you? Mom...he left us.  How can you just go to him and...make out?!  You did only make out with him, right?”

If looks could kill, Wesley would have been dead on the spot.  His mother had used his full name to admonish him, but hadn’t given him details of her tryst with the Captain. She had only told him that they both were expected at the Captain’s quarters at 0700 for breakfast the following morning.  She had then bid him good night and retreated to her bedroom, leaving Wesley with his thoughts. 

Wesley didn’t remember a lot about his father.  Jack Crusher had died when he was only five, and before then, his father had been serving with Captain Picard on the _Stargazer_ , so he only saw his father when his ship was docked at the base he and his mother lived on, and he would always see the Captain at the same time.  A few months after his father passed away,  Captain Picard had re-entered his mother’s life and had moved in with them.  He treated Wesley like a son and Wesley had started to think of the man as his father...and then he slipped up and called him Papa. 

Jean-Luc had stared at him, stunned.  He told Wesley he wasn’t his papa, that was Jack Crusher and then that evening Jean-Luc had left their home...and Wesley hadn’t seen him again until yesterday when he asked to see the Bridge. Interacting with the Captain had been awkward, though probably not as awkward as it had been for his mother. Wesley missed the man.  He still thought of Jean-Luc as his father and not Jack, but what did it matter when they both had left him? 

And now...now he was expected to eat breakfast with the Captain and his mother and do what? Pretend nothing had happened? Pretend the last eight years hadn’t existed of him and his mother all alone without Jean-Luc Picard in their life?  Was the Captain going to tell him it was now ok to call him Papa?  Wesley was angry....but at the same time....he still wanted to call Captain Picard his father.  He wanted him to wrap an arm around his shoulder and tell him how proud he was of him.  He wanted the man to give him the fatherly advice he was so missing in his life....sure, his mother had done her best, and even Uncle Wally had tried, but Wesley really needed the one person he had always thought of as a father in his life....but could he let him back in?

Wesley finished tying his shoes and knocked on his mother’s bedroom door.  “Mom?  I’m ready.” 

“Go ahead without me, Wes. I just got out of the shower and we both don’t want to be late,” came the muffled voice through the door. 

“Fine.”

Wesley stomped out of their quarters and angrily jammed the call button outside Captain Picard’s quarters.  The door slid open on Jean-Luc’s command, and Wesley tried to school his face into a happy look.

“Ah, Wesley. Please come in. Where’s your mother?” Wesley tentatively entered the Captain’s quarters.  The rooms looked sterile, much like the rest of the new ship, but Wesley could see a few items that he remembered belonged to the Captain.  He was shocked to see a framed photo graph of himself, his mother, and his father on a bookshelf and walked over to the photo and picked it up. 

“Mom’s going to be late.  She told me she had just got out of the shower and told me to come so we both weren’t late.”  Wesley glanced at the photo in his hand. “Why do you have this?”  Jean-Luc walked over to Wesley and placed a hand on his arm. 

“Wes...you, your mother, and your father were...are...the most important people to me.”  Wesley shrugged off Jean-Luc’ arm. “Yeah. We’re real important.  You left us!”

Jean-Luc hung his head.  “I know.  And I....I shouldn’t have.  I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?  It’s been eight years.  I don’t even know what to call you right now.  Are you Captain Picard?  Jean-Luc? Uncle?  Papa?”  Jean-Luc winced.  “Yeah, I didn’t think you wanted me to call you Papa.  That’s why you left, isn’t it?”

“Wesley...please, have a seat....I think you and I need to talk.”  Wesley reluctantly sat on the sofa. “Coffee?”  Wes nodded.  He had developed a taste for the beans a few years ago, much to his mother’s annoyance.  Jean-Luc carried over a small tray containing two cups, a coffee carafe, milk,  and a sugar bowl.  He poured Wesley a cup and was shocked to see Wesley take a sip of the inky drink.  Jean-Luc preferred his coffee with a dash of milk.    Jean-Luc took a sip of his coffee and regarded the young man sitting opposite him.  In the past eight years, Wesley had grown into a man...and Jean-Luc had missed all of it. 

“Wesley...Son...”  Wesley looked up sharply.  “Don’t call me your son.  You lost that right when you walked out on us.” 

“I understand.  Wesley...I spoke with your mother last night-“

“You did more than talk. I saw how dishevelled she looked. Did you sleep with my mom last night?”

“ _Wesley!_ I don’t think your mother and my physical relationship is any of your business, but if you must know, we only kissed.”  Wesley rolled his eyes and Jean-Luc held up his hands. “I swear to you, Wes.” 

“Fine.”

“Can I continue? “  Wesley nodded. “I have loved your mother since the day I first met her.  I don’t know if she ever told you, but we dated before she started seeing your father. I...left your mother because at the time, I didn’t think I wanted to have a long-term relationship or get married and I was afraid that was where my relationship with Beverly – your mother – would lead.” 

“So you could have been my father?  My real father?”

“Yes, my boy, I suppose so.  If I hadn’t left your mother, she wouldn’t have dated Jack and I might have been the father of her child...It’s something I often think about.  How close I came to being a father.”

“Why did you leave the second time?”

“Oh Wes, I was scared. No, terrified.  Imagine that, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, terrified of a relationship?  Of a family? ”  Wesley grinned. “And I didn’t want to replace Jack.  Jack was my best friend...I didn’t want him pushed under the rug and I was afraid if I let you call me Papa it would have somehow destroyed his memory.”

“I don’t have any memories of Dad.  I remember when you came to tell us he died, and I remember the funeral...and then I remember you being there with us.  I knew you weren’t really my dad, but I wanted you to be him so badly. ”

“I know.  And...I’m sorry I walked away from you and your mother.  I should have stayed.  I’ve missed so much of your life...can you forgive an old man?”

Wesley eyed the man warily.  _Can I?_   “I don’t know...Sir...Mom and I...we _needed_ you.  I needed you.   I still do,”  he finished softly.  Jean-Luc smiled slightly.  “Wesley...would you let me in?  I know we can’t pretend I never left,  but I would like to have a...relationship with you..and your mother.  I love the both of you.  So many times in the past eight years I thought about you and thought about contacting your mother but I didn’t because I was too cowardly to try to reconcile with her.” 

“Captain,” Wesley began.  Jean-Luc smiled. “Wes, when it’s just the two of us, or the three of us, you can call me Jean-Luc.  You used to call me Uncle before....”

“Before I was stupid and called you Papa and made you leave.”

“Wesley, don’t blame yourself.  You did what any child naturally would do. I was in yours and your mother’s life and I was in that role for you.  It wasn’t your fault.”

“I always thought it was.  I used to think if I hadn’t called you Papa you might have stayed and then Mom wouldn’t have been so miserable.”  Jean-Luc looked at Wesley with shock.  “I...guess I never thought about how your mother or you would have reacted to my leaving.  I was very selfish back then.” 

“Sir?  Are you going to date my mother again?” 

“I really would like to, Wes.  I don’t know if we’re ready to resume our relationship, but I love your mother very much.”  Jean-Luc picked up his coffee and took a sip. 

“Do you promise not to leave her again?” 

“Wesley, I promise. If your mother wants to date me again, I will not let go of her.  Ever.” 

“And if she doesn’t?”

“Wesley, you are on my ship.  Even if your mother and I don’t rekindle our relationship, you have to know how much I care for you.  I’m always here for you and willing to help you. As a matter of fact, you seemed very knowledgeable on the Bridge. Would you like to sit a shift and see what it’s like?”  Wesley’s eyes lit up like Christmas and his birthday had been handed to him. “Could I?” 

“We can make the arrangements later. “

“Wow, thank you Captain...Jean-Luc.” 

“You’re welcome, my son.  Oh, I’m sorry. You asked me not to call you that.”  Wesley smiled at the older man. “No, it’s ok. I think I’d like to be your son.”  Jean-Luc reached over and ruffled Wesley’s hair. “And I wish you were really my son....just don’t call me Dad in front of the crew, alright? I have a reputation to maintain...”

“Of course, Dad.  Hey Dad, it’s been a while. Shouldn’t Mom be here by now?” 

“Hmm. Indeed,”  Jean-Luc tapped his badge. “Captain Picard to Doctor Crusher.” 

_“Yes?”_

“Beverly, your son and I were wondering if you were planning on joining us for breakfast?”

 _“Are you two friends again?”_ Jean-Luc chuckled.  Wesley spoke up. “It’s alright, Mom.  Dad and I...we’ve made up.”

_“Dad is it?  Good.  I’ll be right there.  Crusher out.”_

Jean-Luc stood up from the sofa. “Well, I guess we had better get some breakfast laid out.”

Back in Beverly’s quarters, she was smiling. _Dad.  He’s calling Jean-Luc Dad.  The one thing I always wanted for Wesley was to be able to call Jean-Luc dad.  Wesley needs Jean-Luc in his life...and I think Jean-Luc needs Wes too.  Oh, who am I kidding? I need Jean-Luc, too. I don’t know what we’re going to become to one another, but I hope we can make it work this time._ Beverly hummed a happy tune as she grabbed her lab coat and headed to the Captain’s quarters.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't decide if this is it, or if I should continue this....


End file.
